Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
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