Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
