I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
