Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Randomize
