I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
