The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Randomize
