is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
