I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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