Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Randomize
