I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
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