You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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