Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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