After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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