why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
