I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
