Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
