a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
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