i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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