Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
