I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
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