Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
I intend to get homeless drunk
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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