dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
