OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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