I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
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