I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
