He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
