I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize