she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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