We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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