wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
