you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
