i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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