I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Watching her eat just hurts me
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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