I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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