we have pet lesbian snakes
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
