i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
