he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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