last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
