didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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