What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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