she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
