I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Randomize
