We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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