Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
