before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Well I just put wine in my tea
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
