if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
