Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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