I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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