forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize