You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
