i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
