Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
id be glad to
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
