Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
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