hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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