Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Randomize
