return my video game
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
