The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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