ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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