So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We were destined to go to rehab together
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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