I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
