please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
