Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Randomize