He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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